Le topic inutile de la catégorie inutile

[Glaüx]

Gaffe, c'est du lourd.


http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page


La Bible, réécrite en entier, en lolcat-speak. OW MA GAD.

Genèse 1

  Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.

11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.

14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.

20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.

24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.

26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.

27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.

28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.

29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.

31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai.

Apocalypse 6

Teh Sealz

1 Den teh lamb opened one of teh 7 sealz and teh furst doodz say "Come and take lookz!"2 An behold der wuz white horse, wif a man sittin on it wif a bowz. An crown wuz given to him an he went out to take all cheezburgerz.

3 Den dat lamb opend nother seal and doodz say "Cum"4 Den anuther ridin red horse cum. He wuz allowed to takez all teh worldz cookiez and milkz, and send dem tu bedz eerly. Sum peeps mite die tu: an he can has great sword an stuffz.

5 He prozeded to opens nuther seal an big black horse cum. Living doodz say "Come" an he balanced stuff in hiz handz.6 An den sum dood said "Sum stir fry for denarius! An denarius 4 cheezburger! Better not eated mah cheezs and bradz!

7 An i oppeneded nuther seal an 4th dood say "Come and lookz!"8 Lo behold a pale horsez with a dood sitin on it, his naym wuz Deaths, an liek Hadez an stuff followd himz. Him had enuf skillz to kill lots of doodz, with antifreezez and curiositiez.

9 Den they openeded anuther sealz an under teh altarz there wuz all kitteh souls who had deded more than niyne timez. Satain and pitt bulls done it cuz they tried to givez kittehs baths, diddnt like too much.10 Den teh voicez cries out "Ceiling Cat, how long wez sufferz untill you avengez our niyne deafs an drown dem pitt bullz, srsly?"11 Each of dem were givenz sum white robez. The shuld take napz for a whyle an den when all other kittiez die, they gittemm robez too.

12 Oh mai, they oppended nuther sealz there wuz big ground shaky. Teh sunz got all darky and teh moonz wuz bluudy. Wow.13 Den sum starz startin fallin. Kittehs be like "woez!".14 Later, teh skiez got brighted. All landz cum back tooo.

15 All teh kingz an queenz an generalz an luutinantz an princez an lordz an earlz an dukez an citizenz an peasantz an serfz an slavez an wimmenz an specially joo went to find shelterz.16 They saidz to teh mountainz "Fall downz on us and save ussses from teh wrath of teh lambz!"17 For finally he gotten really pissed, no kittehs should standz.

[Le Duc]

Qui a fait ça ? Je suis toujours à la recherche d'une cible pour le 10 avril

[Glaüx]

Ils sont PLEIN.



Ce sont mes IDOLES.

[_Strange_]

Aujourd'hui, j'ai été taxée de "mauvais goût" par le proxy de mon taf en tentant (vainement) d'accéder à la Zone. J'ai grillé mes chances de progression au sein de l'entreprise, j'ai plus qu'à changer de boîte, d'identité et de goûts.

[Glaüx]

Aujourd'hui, j'ai été taxée de "mauvais goût" par le proxy de mon taf en tentant (vainement) d'accéder à la Zone.

Qu'on m'explique dans quelle entreprise les papilles gustatives d'un employé entrent en contact avec les parties goûteuses de l'anatomie d'une jeune personne pendant qu'elle traîne nonchalamment sur le net. Justement, je songeais à une reconversion.

[_Strange_]

J'avais mes gnagnagna et j'étais non consentante.

[nihil]

15/03/2008  23:42:47  Winteria  SETH401772  t'es sûr que tu veux qu'il soit con, notre héros ?
15/03/2008  23:42:57  Winteria  SETH401772  parce que si oui, je mets "se casser la binette"
15/03/2008  23:43:12  SETH401772  Winteria  CON 2VENTUELLEMENT? GRAND6M7RE? NON
15/03/2008  23:43:20  Winteria  SETH401772  Glo ?
15/03/2008  23:43:37  SETH401772  Winteria  non là en fait j'étais vraiment en caps sans faire exprès
15/03/2008  23:43:45  Winteria  SETH401772  haha
15/03/2008  23:43:51  Winteria  SETH401772  la ressemblance était frappante

[400asa]

http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=qPsXRiV6yo4
Spécial dédicace à nihil et son amour pour le bonhomme.

[Le Duc]

PUTAIN !

Je le savaia barré, mais pas à ce point ! Sinon personne peux nier qu'il a quand même une super voix, Mike Patton est soit un extra-terrestre, ou soit dieu.

[Le Duc]

Mais je le soupçonne de s'être réellement étouffé à la 6éme minute et de faire style, "c'étais voulu, ça fais trop bien mh'voyez.."

[Malax]

Ce qui est marrant c'est que c'est pas de l'impro, il lit son texte posé sur le petit chevalet.
Je l'imagine en train d'écrire cette œuvre.

[400asa]

Paroles de la chanson "God hates a Coward" de Tomahawk, remaniés par mes soins car les résultats google seuquent :

I've sewn my seeds with a metric grosse
No footsteps go beyond it
I'll eat the dirt
Where the rooster crows
Flesh rodeo, yee-har, it's
Just to push in your teardrops
Make you a cyclops
Breakin' the branches off your family tree
Keep you up like a fluffer girl
Ain't that enough of the
Look in the sewer for my pedigree
Your truly cause repeats its pulse
And makes your tears, if you needed too
Make me blow my brains out
Pointin' the gun
Put my neck in a noose
But I'm hangin' tough
Day, by, day, by, day, by, day, by
Day, by, day, by, day, by, day, by
Listen closer to your mother
You can hear ocean roar
Sittin' quiet in the corner
Put another record on
God hates a coward, sonny
Got a date with your VCR
Watch another action movie
Dream of me
On the only piano
Wrote the fuckin' concerto
Shoot pool with your eyeballs
Rack 'em up
Make a meal of your asshole
Gnaw on your fat soul
Dipping your heart in my vinegar
Like a million of piggies
That you thought that would live
To see them coming on back
And if it wasn't the piggy
That was causing the screaming
That we're coming to kill
I'd never sleep at night
Alright burn it up
Day, my, day, my, day, my, day, my
Day, my, day, my, day, my, day, my

C'est tout à fait zonard, haineux et violent avec de jolies images, comme : "Make a meal of your asshole. Gnaw on your fat soul. Dipping your heart in my vinegar".
Et j'emmerde les anglophobes.

[Glaüx]

[Glaüx]

Monsieur Choke     le 19/03/2008 à 23:49:30  j' ai demenage maintenont la. je trvail plus dure mais je viens quand meme vous voir les ostie. comme moi travailles et vous auraient des promotion bande de crabe farci. aves vous honte de vous grate l un et l autre. ahaha, Glaux le camion ca c est un joke bien petrie les anarchiste je dirai meme triple remorgueur les garcs ! viole des hibouhs. prend un travaille dans ta paroisse si tu trouve pas mon ami de cheum en goguette !

Quelqu'un a compris ? C'est important pour moi, je me sens tout perdu.

[areziwK Gaston]

J'ai compris "j'ai demenage" et "viole des hibouhs". Je crois que c'est ton nouveau voisin, et qu'il veut t'enculer.